Happy Valentine's Day!!

...a few days late :)

So... We're having a baby!!!

Yes, it's true, there is another itty bitty on the way! We couldn't be more excited to meet this new addition. We found out on Thanksgiving that I was pregnant! Just like the last time, when I was pregnant with Grayer (since thankfully the first time trying worked again), I knew the exact day I could test to see if I was indeed pregnant, and I couldn't sleep the night before wondering if I was or not. I woke up around 6:30 and snuck into the bathroom, trying to be extra quiet so Justin wouldn't suspect what I was doing (He on the other hand has never known when I will be testing, so it's a fun surprise). I peed on the stick, set it on the tub ledge and went to get some juice. When I went back it to check, it was the FAINTEST pink line you can imagine (it was 6 days early!), like you had to turn it a certain way to see the line. But pink is pink is pink. So, I crawled back into bed without a word, giddy as a school girl. I knew how I wanted to tell J, so I was mum for a bit. We had Thanksgiving plans with our families, so we had to get up and get moving pretty quickly. Justin hopped into the shower, and I jumped into action. I got a big green bow, and wrapped it around the pregnancy test, taped it to the mirror in the bathroom and wrote a note on the mirror that said Daddy X's 2! The mirror was steamed up, but it didn't take long for him to see it. He was very surprised and so excited! Since the line was so faint, he wasn't quite sure it was right, but pink is pink is pink. I was pregnant!!!

But soon our excitement turned into fear. At 5 weeks, I started spotting and went to see the doctor. They saw a fetal pole and heartbeat, but it was lower than they wanted it to be. Said it could have been low because it was so early in the pregnancy, but I got blood work done and made an appointment for the next week. Blood work came back great but a day before my next appointment, I started bleeding again. Had a sono that showed the baby looking great (great heart rate!) but they found a subchorionic hemorrhage. This is a blood clot inbetween the placenta and the uterine wall, and causes bleeding, higher risk of miscarriage and can cause other serious complications later in the pregnancy. I was put on pelvic rest and was on modified bedrest for multiple days during the first trimester. I had another pretty big bleed at 11 weeks, and my doctor wanted me to see a high risk perinatologist at 13 weeks. The appointment went really well, and the doctor was not concerned with the clot and didn't think it should cause any more problems as it was beginning to shrink. I am now 14.4 weeks preggo and haven't any more issues (praise!!!) so we are hopeful all that is behind us. The Lord has been so gracious and comforting to us during this difficult time.

There are many, many negatives to pelvic rest, but not being able to lift my sweet little was ABSOLUTE TOTRURE for both of us. There were many times he would ask to be held, and I would sit in a heap on the floor just loving on my baby while he whined or cried, holding back tears because we were both upset that it just wasn't the same. And it wasn't the same. But we made it through and are stronger because of it. I've been given the clear to ease back into things, and I am able to hold him when I want, for now at least, so I do, all the time.

And last but certainly not least, we found out at 12 weeks and confirmed at 13 weeks that we are having another precious baby BOY!! We are so excited and can't wait to give Grayer a little brother! I can't imagine my life without sisters, and am so thankful that Grayer will get to experience the bond of a brother :)

Nap-time is the new play-time

I knew it was coming, and I've tried to be brave, but its a shock to the system none the less. For the last two weeks, Gray has been doing everything but sleeping for the first hour of his nap time. He talks, he sings, he jumps, he reads, anything to avoid sleep. He's super happy, without a care in the world, so I let him play (until I don't!). Since this baby in my tummy has made me so much more tired during the day than I ever remember with Grayer (more on that later), I've been taking a nap when G does most days, so this hour long play date Grayer has been having with his imaginary friends has been a bit exhausting. But there are two positives to this story.
The first being, he still takes a nap...always! Once he finally stops jumping on his trampoline aka his bed, and drifts to sleep, he is still sleeping usually around two hours, so really, what's an extra hour of "quiet" time? :)
The second is being able to see my babe from a completely different angle. I still use a video monitor during nap time, so I can clearly hear everything he is saying during this time. His imagination is running wild, and I love it!  Sometimes he's running from a wild animal, bouncing from one end of his crib to the other, all the while squealing "polar bear, polar bear, polar bear!!!", sometimes he's reenacting a book and singing "no monkeys jumping on bed", and sometimes he's putting his pet frog on his back, swinging him around yelling "weeeeeeeee, let's go, let's go!". Whatever it is, it's entertaining and amusing to both of us :)

But... Here's to hoping this is not the start to no more naps. At 2 years old, and a itty bitty on the way, this momma isn't near ready for that!

27 Months

Grayer, here is what you are up to at 27 months.

You talk non-stop. There are almost no silent moments in our day, and most of the time we wouldn't want it any other way (except maybe at the dinner table when your dad and I are trying to catch up on the day, ha!). You say really funny things like "I want to run around naked mama!" or "that poo poo is stinky" when you're getting a diaper change... Ah potty training, yep, that's another post.

You do these funny little rituals that just melt my heart and make me so thankful I'm "da-mama" (yes, thats what you often call me). After bath every night, you want me to wrap you up in your hoodie towel, craddle you in my arms and talk to you like a baby, while you fake cry... Seriously hilarious and no idea how it started! You also request to be wrapped up in your three blankets like a mummy before bed every night. So silly!

You haven't reached the "watch me" phase yet, but you are definitely in the "come with me" phase. You are always asking for me or your dad to "come this way", but are thankfully getting into a really good habit of playing independently in your room for awhile. Still, you reaching for my hand and asking me to come with you is so sweet.

You still love to be read to, but usually only before bed. You are starting to memorize some of your favorite books like "Are you my mother?" and your opposites book and its precious to hear you reading them to yourself.

You are always talking and asking about your grandparents, Elle and recently your uncle Noah. You know where the Stavlo's street is, and if we drive by without turning down it, you ask about Elle and
Noah's house, and ask if we can go play.

Well nugget, these are just a few of the things that you are doing these days.

I love you!

The f word

Fear of the unknown. It's a fear that wants to swallow you whole if you will let it. And while there have been moments, minutes, hours in the last few weeks that I have allowed this fear to consume me, I am ever prayerful that I will not allow the deep rooted black seed to take hold of my heart. Sometimes there are scary, but thrilling times where fear of the unknown comes into play, like when your parents drop you off at college, or your start a new job, but this isn't one of those times. 

This feels like the fear is paralizing. This feels like walking on egg shells. This feels like it would be my fault. This feels like waiting for the end but praying it never comes.

Today I am thankful that our hope is not in this world. I am thankful for encouraging words. I am thankful for love shown through selfless acts of kindness. I am thankful for whispered prayers. I am thankful for grace.

26 Months and Christmas

It has been a busy few months for our household. We have jumped head first into the Christmas season and are enjoying all the seasonal things that come along with it. We have visited Santa, driven to look at Christmas lights, listened to countless Christmas songs, drank hot cocoa, played in the “snow” (shaving cream for those of us that live in Texas J), made reindeer feed, watched Christmas movies along with a multitude of other festive holiday fun that goes along with our “25 Days of Christmas”. It’s been so fun to see how much Grayer has grown and learned in a year. Last year, he fell asleep while looking at Christmas lights and this year he was talking a million miles a minute and as we passed one Santa, he would immediately begin asking when we would see the next one. He is in love with the jolly guy and affectionately calls him “Sanpa”.  So sweet J

We’ve been to a few Christmas parties already, one that was just for the ladies in our playgroup where we exchanged our “favorite thing” gifts. I got the most snuggly blanket that I sleep with at night (love, love, love being under a million blankets) and use while being lazy on the couch as well. We had a Toys for Tots happy hour that Justin and I both got to attend which was fun! I went to a “Mrs. Clause” baking party that a girlfriend hosted a few days ago, which allowed me to look like a good baker when I put together Christmas gifts for Grayer’s MDO teachers, haha! Luckily, he doesn’t tell J We have Justin’s work Christmas party on Thursday night, which I know he is looking forward to. We have some friends coming in from out of town for NYE, so I am really excited about that (but not looking forward to the end of the holiday season…).

Since it’s been a few months since I’ve updated about what our little bug is up to these days, I will take some time to do that now.

Grayer, here is what you are up to at 26 (almost 27!) months.

I’m pretty sure you are ready to be potty training, but for some reason your mom is being s-l-o-w about it. You will go pee-pee on the potty every single time someone asks you if you want to go, and you have gone poop once… I caught you in the act and rushed you to the potty. You did great, and have no fears of using the potty, I think it’s just going to be a consistency thing with your dad and I. I think in January I will just buckle down and just do it. You used to get 2 M&M’s when you would go potty, but you stopped asking for them, and I stopped offering and you haven’t seemed to notice, so maybe it will all be easier than I hoped! J

You are so funny and love to laugh. You can be such a goober sometimes, and just love to be tickled to death. Your laughter and squeals of delight never cease to make your dad and I laugh out loud every.single.time. You would be tickled from sun up to sun down if someone would appease you. You are most ticklish under your arms and on the bottom of your sweet, stinky (seriously- are you already 15???) feet.

You are very sociable and don’t ever really get shy. You enjoy going to Sunday school, Mother’s Day Out, and Wed morning Bible Study. You are always smiley and giddy while we are getting you checked in to all those places. You just love your friends, teachers and ALL the fun toys!

You’re not a super hyper little boy, but have a good amount of energy. You like to be on the go just like your mom, and ask quite often “where go next mama”. We spend a lot of time at the zoo, libraries, parks, arboretum, and just running errands. I so enjoy being out and about with you J

You know all of your basic colors and yellow, purple and green are your favorites. You can count to 10 (with the exclusion of 1… you will NOT say 1) just not in any particular order yet, haha!  You love to read, and love to do all your puzzles that we have in your room. Your newest craze is any type of “I spy” book where you have to find certain things in the pictures. You LOVE to find all the fun items and are so proud of yourself when you can find them all.

You still love to play with balls, and it really doesn’t matter which ones. You love soccer, football, golf, and baseball and the all of the sports equipment that has taken over our house is a testament to this. Kicking, throwing, hitting, dunking…you love it all!

You also are loving trains these days. We took you to the Trains at Northpark this weekend, and your dad and I had to tag-team keeping up with you. You were NOT content to watch the trains pass, you were sprinting to follow each one of them, and unfortunately had very little regard for anyone in your way. We were there for almost an hour, and were afraid there was going to be a meltdown when it was time to go, because you were really enjoying yourself, but thankfully you were hungry and french fries won out J

You used to be obsessed with your Poppa and Papa (which you totally still are), but now you are obsessed with your cousin. You ask me about 10 times a day “where is Elle?” It happens when I come to get you from your bed in the mornings, when I pick you up from school, any time a park is mentioned and lots of other random times in-between. You do love to play with her the very most. You love sweet baby Hadleigh (you call her Hadwee) and love to give her kisses from head to toe.

There are a million other things that you are up to these days, but I will stop with that. You are the biggest joy to all of us, and we love you so very much! xoxo

 

ps. couldn't get pictures to load, so I'll work on that :)

 

 

Midnight snuggles

Last night our  little awoke at 3:40am and cried out for his mama. Justin climbed out of our warm bed, walked across the cold hardwood floors, and brought our nugget back to bed. This has been a regular occurrence for us over the last several weeks. It's not ideal. No one is getting 12 hours of beauty sleep. There are elbows in backs and feet in faces. But against our better judgement, this is how our family is coping with nighttime wakings. 

Some nights there is a hint of "not again..." and a dread of being awake for the day long before the sun makes his appearance, but some nights there is a longing so strong to smell the sweet baby shampoo on the tips of his hair that I make it to his side in record time when he cries out for me in the pre dawn hours. 

Maybe we do this because we are not those parents who do everything by the book. We never have been. We make our own rules. We figure out what works for our family. We make mistakes and hopefully do some things right. But maybe we do it because we know one day too soon we are gonna miss this. 3am wakings and all. It will be over in the blink of an eye. So tonight I am thankful for the two extra elbows and feet in my bed. I am thankful for the soft breathing in my ear. And I am thankful for a sweet husband who loves the extra midnight snuggles as much as I do.